School Refusal in Singapore: What Every Parent Should Know Before It Becomes Hikikomori

Recent media coverage by CNA Insider has brought attention to the growing issue of hikikomori, or “hidden youth”—young people who gradually withdraw from school, friends and society. While not every child who refuses school becomes socially withdrawn, persistent school refusal should never be dismissed as “just a phase.”

School refusal is often a sign that a child is struggling with something deeper. Common underlying causes include anxiety, bullying, friendship difficulties, learning challenges, autism, ADHD, executive functioning difficulties, or depression. Understanding the reason behind the behaviour is the first step towards helping your child.

6 Ways Parents Can Support a Child with School Refusal

1. Identify the underlying issue
Find out what is making school difficult instead of assuming your child is simply unwilling to attend.

2. Work closely with the school
Partner with teachers and school counsellors to understand your child’s academic, emotional and social experiences.

3. Maintain a consistent routine
Regular sleep, meal and morning routines help reduce uncertainty and anxiety.

4. Celebrate small successes
Praise progress, whether it’s getting dressed for school, attending one lesson or completing a full day.

5. Teach coping strategies
Help your child learn breathing techniques, emotional regulation and problem-solving skills to manage stress.

6. Stay calm and patient
Respond with empathy and reassurance rather than frustration. A supportive relationship encourages children to seek help and build confidence.

Early Intervention Makes a Difference

The longer a child stays away from school, the harder it can become to return. Seeking support early can prevent school refusal from developing into prolonged social withdrawal and help children regain confidence in learning and social interactions.

If your child has been struggling with school attendance, don’t wait until the situation escalates. Early assessment and intervention can identify the underlying causes and provide practical strategies to support a successful return to school.

Inspired by the recent CNA Insider documentary on hikikomori in Singapore, which highlights the importance of recognising and supporting children before withdrawal becomes entrenched.